August 14, 2021

For All the Dads Out There: A Guide to Sex After Babies

No matter who you are and how you feel about being a parent, you can’t deny the joy and happiness kids bring into your life. Your partner giving birth is one of the best experiences the two of you as a couple will live through. There’s no reason to expand on this — everyone knows it. However, post-pregnancy life won’t be the same as the one before it.

 

Due to both physical and emotional reasons, you and your wife/partner won’t be on the same page when it comes to sex. It’s something most men don’t think about when they’re celebrating with their buddies, but it catches up with them nonetheless. Our article aims to provide you with some details about sex after birth. We’ll include nine different dad tips that will help both you and your partner.

The Right Time to Do It Again

You can picture childbirth like this. When an athlete injures their body while doing sports, they can’t resume their usual activities until the recovery is completed. The same works with women after giving birth. Their body needs to heal from the trauma, no matter how quick or complicated the process was before they start having sex again.

 

The time needed to heal can vary from person to person. Still, doctors will advise new mothers to lay off sex for at least six weeks. The reason is that they risk infection if you resume your sex life immediately. Some women know this, and they might prolong the healing process just to make sure everything is A-okay.

Follow Her Lead

Although it might be six or more weeks after the birth of your child, it doesn’t mean that the two of you will jump right back into the love-making business. As we’ve said, the healing process varies from woman to woman. Some might be ready for it as soon as the doctors give them the green light; others might want to wait a bit more.

 

Either way, it’s key for you to follow their lead. You shouldn’t force them into anything, especially sex. If you’re wondering about the average time before women engage in postpartum sex again — it’s seven weeks. However, that doesn’t mean that your wife will be the same as others.

Managing Frustration

The question any dad who’s longing for sex would ask is: “How can I handle this new situation?” Well, to put it simply, the best thing you can do is practice being patient. You should talk to her and ask what you can do to support her. While doing so, it’s key to listen and show understanding too.

 

The worst thing you can do is make her feel bad for not having sex with you. Unfortunately, lots of guys do that, not by telling their wives directly, but by showing clear signs of frustration that cause numerous problems in the future. The thing is, you’ll eventually make love again, so don’t be hasty and impatient like a horny teen.

Understanding Your Feelings

It might seem strange, but low libido is common in men after they became a father too. This phenomenon isn’t reserved for women only. This change in your sexual desire can come from several sources, one of them being a testosterone drop. Some studies even suggest that a man’s body will start to produce fewer sex hormones after their partner gives birth.

 

Nevertheless, it’s key to open up about your feelings. If you’re experiencing low libido, you should talk to your partner and friends. The thing is, sharing is key to any healthy relationship; hence, open up about it. If talking to your wife or a close friend doesn’t seem to work, make sure to seek professional help.

Piquing Her Interest

Although it might be weird for some, showing your partner that you’re into them doesn’t always need to be direct. You can go about it in a non-sexual way too. For instance, make yourself useful and take care of the chores around the house.

 

Tell your wife that you’re going to take care of the baby for a couple of hours as she goes out to the gym, visits a friend, or even does her nails. Make her see that you are a responsible father, and it will come back to reward you in no time.

Fallout From Breastfeeding

It’s important to understand that post-baby days are going to be a lot different for your partner, not only in emotional ways, but in physical too. The thing is, if your wife is breastfeeding, her body is likely to suffer from all sorts of hormonal changes.

 

This is normal, and you shouldn’t worry. Still, breastfeeding can affect her body’s ability to self-lubricate, meaning — painful intercourse. Vaginal dryness isn’t something you should overlook, regardless of how horny the two of you are. Keep it simple and get some water-based lube from your local pharmacy.

Coping With Life as a Zombie

No matter how lovely it is to be a parent, it’s also pretty hard on both of you. As your baby begins to cry in the middle of the night for the third day straight, you’ll begin to experience serious fatigue. Both of you. Hence, it’s key to prepare yourself for numerous sleepless nights and days, which will make you forget about sex in no time.

Discovering Other Options

Sex after pregnancy doesn’t have to mean the same thing as it did before. Moreover, it doesn’t have to be about penetration to help both of you. By this, we mean that any type of intimacy will help you get over this period, which will eventually end. Be it hugging, snuggling, or massaging one another, it will all feel good during these trying times.

Learning New Tricks

Due to various hormonal changes in their bodies, women’s perspective on sex might shift. In other words, they’ll prefer things that were previously unthinkable for them, such as extreme sex positions or kinks and fetishes. Trying out something new can be scary at first, but it will also be rewarding and exciting if you manage to pull it off.

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